Thursday, September 26, 2013

'Metallica: Through The Never' Movie Review

It must be a huge ego stroke to see an extreme close up of your own face blasted five stories high across an IMAX screen. Then again, no one ever accused Metallica of being the most modest group of guys in the entire world, and you won’t think anything different walking out of their new movie, “Metallica: Through the Never.” Billed as a hybrid concert film slash narrative action extravaganza, don’t go in expecting an actual movie. This is essentially a live performance with may ten or fifteen minutes worth of music video-esque story cut in. If you’re a fan of the venerable heavy metal outfit, then you’ll be totally stoked on “Through the Never,” but if not, this holds little interest for you. That much should be self-evident.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

That Certainly Is One 'Big Ass Spider' Trailer

Can I get a hell yeah? Can I get an amen? More importantly, can it already be October 18 so I can watch the hell out of Big Ass Spider? Since I haven’t been able to crack that whole time travel thing, it looks like we’re all going to have to wait, but until then we have this ridiculous new trailer to tide us over. The best part about this is that, not matter how absurd this creature feature may be, the giant titular arachnid actually looks pretty damn awesome.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Blu-Ray/DVD Review: 'GallowWalkers'

Originally slated to come out before star Wesley Snipes went to prison for tax evasion, director Andrew Goth’s GallowWalkers has finally found its way to your DVD players courtesy of Lionsgate. If Django Unchained was a distant ancestor of Shaft then it’s easy to think of this vampire horror western as a half-assed predecessor to Blade, if Blade was terrible.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

'Prisoners' Movie Review

The first shot of director Denis Villeneuve’s (“Incendies”) new thriller, “Prisoners,” shows a sparse winter forest in Western Pennsylvania. A wide spectrum of grays, this is a harsh, desolate place, but, as a deer creeps into the frame, you see there is life. You also bear witness to an inherent brutality as a young hunter, Ralph Dover (Dylan Minnette), kills the doe at the urging of his father, Keller (Hugh Jackman). Not only does this initiate you into the world of the film—we’re talking about a where every choice is morally ambiguous, gray if you will, though some are so dark as to be damn near black—but it also sets up a tense, quiet atmosphere punctuated by stunning violence. “Prisoners” is a mystery that is as physically and emotionally pulverizing to you the viewer as it is to the characters.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

'Insidious: Chapter 2' Movie Review

There’s an impulse with a lot of recent horror to reinvent the wheel. The logic goes that audiences have seen everything before, are hyper aware of the tools and tropes of the genre, and thus you have to do something new and shocking every time out in order to up the ante. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for innovation and progression, unless the price tag is making a movie that sucks. With all of this new, new, new crammed down our throats, it’s easy to forget that the standards become standard for a reason, when used well, they can be used to create a movie that scares the hell out of you.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Blu-Ray Review: 'Spartacus: War Of The Damned'

The Starz Channel’s “Spartacus” may only have lasted for three seasons and a prequel miniseries, but they sure did manage to cram the show with enough blood, boobs, butts, and slow motion to last you at least one lifetime, maybe more. Now the final season, “Spartacus: War of the Damned,” is out on Blu-ray so that you can relive every last gore soaked frame and exposed nipple. Fans will already know what to expect, there is a certain formula the series follows, one that works very well for their purposes, and they don’t deviate from that here. That isn’t meant to sound derogatory in anyway, the show has always been a gleeful amount of fun, and that definitely continues through until the end.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

'All The Boys Love Mandy Lane' Movie Review

There is a tendency among hardcore horror hounds to equate obscurity with quality, and to use what you've seen as a measuring stick of your own devotion and fandom. Sometimes, when you spend months, or even longer, hunting down a particularly hard to find movie you've been dying to see your efforts pays off, other times not so much. Thus is the case with “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane,” and after years, it is finally available for widespread public consumption so you can see what you’ve been missing.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

'Riddick' Movie Review

Just the fact that it’s 2013 and we’re talking about Riddick at all is a minor miracle. The third in the so-called “Furyan Chronicles,” after the second film tanked in 2004, it’s taken star Vin Diesel and director David Twohy nearly a decade, countless starts and stops, and lots of their own money (Diesel put up his own house as collateral) to get to this point. While there is a fan base out there, there was hardly a massive cry for more, and this definitely qualifies as a passion project for the two primary players. As a movie, Riddick is half giddy, pulpy sci-fi that is a total blast; and half a clumsy, overlong mess, full of plot holes and inconsistencies.