Sunday, May 25, 2008

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

I read someplace that the people who made Alien vs. Predator: Requiem hoped to make audiences forget that the first Alien vs. Predator movie ever happened. That is a worthy and noble goal, as the first movie is a dismal piece of shit. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make a movie that featured either the Predator or Aliens primarily about people, and PG-13 to top it off? When will people learn that anything that is supposed to be scary or violent or both will never be appropriately rendered with a PG-13 rating? There’s really only one Alien against Predator fight in the whole damn movie, for God’s sake.

That said, at least they gave it a shot in the second film. The trailer even listed a body count. There was a significant increase in the Alien on Predator action, but even that couldn’t help deliver this movie from the depths.

This movie tried to have plot. It didn’t work. This movie tried to make me care about flat, boring characters, of which there are far too many. It didn’t work (they tried to interweave a bunch of generic subplots, only to end up with a bunch of generic characters we neither know, nor care about). This movie tried to have tension. It didn’t work.

I just have one question. Who is going to make the third movie to try to make me forget about this one?

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