If you’ve ever wanted to watch a direct-to-video post-apocalyptic
western starring former MMA champion Gina Carano directed by the guy who helmed
Sliding Doors, today is your day. Take a gander at the
trailer for Scorched Earth, which delivers just what I
promised.
Friday, December 29, 2017
Thursday, December 28, 2017
The Top 15 Movies Of 2017
Every year, I debate whether or not to make a year-end
best-of list. I hate ranking movies (or giving them grades for that matter),
and where a movie falls, or even what’s included, varies day-by-day, even
hour-by-hour depending on my mood and what I remember.
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'Mom And Dad' Trailer: Nicolas Cage Sings The Hokey Pokey And Smashes A Pool Table With A Sledgehammer
Somehow, and I’m not sure how this happened, I never knew
that what my life really lacked was Nicolas Cage, screaming “The Hokey Pokey,”
while smashing a pool table with a sledgehammer. I know, I know, that should
have been obvious from the word go, but it took this Mom and
Dad trailer to make me see the light. But now I have, and it is
glorious.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
'In The Fade' (2017) Movie Review
I’m here all day for Diane Kruger fighting Nazis. The only
problem with Faith Akin’s In the Fade is that, instead of
focusing on that part of the story, it turns into a middling Law &
Order episode.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
'Molly's Game' (2017) Movie Review
As a writer, Aaron Sorkin has an ability to make me care
about topics I don’t usually give two shits about. I’m not particularly
interested in the d-bags who created Facebook, but The Social
Network makes that story as compelling as it’s going to get. The same
goes for Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs), Sabermetrics (Moneyball),
and Tom Cruise as a lawyer (A Few Good Men). His directorial
debut, Molly’s Game, for which he also wrote the script,
follows a familiar pattern.
'Den Of Thieves' Trailer Is The Most Macho Thing You'll See All Day
I should know better by now, I really should, but I can’t
help but be irrationally excited for Den of Thieves. I know,
I know, it’s a mid-January action movie that looks dumb as shit and macho
beyond belief, but it also looks 100% my jam. Watching this new trailer, I can’t
help myself, I giggled and clapped the entire time.
Friday, December 22, 2017
'Love And Saucers' (2017) Movie Review
Earnest is the best way to describe David Huggins. He’s an
affable elder gentleman who works part time in a Hoboken deli, spends his spare
time painting, and, oh yeah, lost his virginity to an extraterrestrial. Documentaries
are often only as interesting as their subjects, and Brad Abrahams’
Love and Saucers: The Far Out World of David Huggins
certainly has an eccentric focus.
Thursday, December 21, 2017
'Downsizing' (2017) Movie Review
It’s easy to describe most of Alexander Payne’s filmography
as “white dudes learn an important lesson: the movie.” And to that end, his
latest, Downsizing, feels right at home among titles like
Election and Nebraska. Where it stands
out is that it finds the director splashing around in the science fiction pool for
the first time. The film bears an intriguing satiric premise, tips its hat to
all manner of interesting thematic concerns related to that conceit, and begins
with promise, only to shit the bed in complete, spectacular, baffling fashion.
The 2017 Seattle Film Critics Society Award Winners
It’s award season, mother fuckers! I’m fortunate enough to
be part of the inaugural class of the Seattle Film Critics Society (they shot
down my name suggestion: Seattle Movie Nerd Party Club). We’ve voted on and handed
out awards a few times under this moniker, but before now it’s been a loose
collection of like-minded film weirdos, not an actual group with like officers,
by-laws, and things like that. I wrote about the nominees the other day, but now
the final votes have been tallied and the winners are here. Drumroll please…
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Wednesday, December 20, 2017
'Sicario 2: Soldado' Trailer Starts A War With Everyone
Do we really need a sequel to Denis Villeneuve’s 2015 cartel
thriller Sicario? Especially one without the lead character
or director from that film? Probably not. But that’s not going to stop
Sicario 2: Soldado from happening, and thanks to this first
trailer, I’m here for it’s DTV vibe and promise of excessive violence.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
The 2017 Seattle Film Critics Society Awards Nominations
As 2017 wraps up (high fives to everyone for making it
through this clusterfuck of a year!) it’s that time where groups and guilds and
collections of people who watch a lot of movies get together to vote for the
best of the year. I’m fortunate enough to be a part of a couple of these groups
(because my opinion is the best one, obviously), including the newly minted
Seattle Film Critics Society.
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The Post
'The Shape Of Water' (2017) Movie Review
Guillermo del Toro’s latest, The Shape of Water, reminds me of so many of the director’s other films. It
contains lush, gorgeous, fantastic elements that astound, tease the
imagination, and take your breath away. But it also contains flat, bland,
lame-ass choices and needless grandstanding that kills momentum and waters down
the impact of what’s otherwise a lovely love letter to classic movies and
sweeping cinematic romance.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
This 'Annihilation' Trailer Leans Heavy On The Sci-Fi Action
According to one of the producers, we might not be smart
enough to understand it (we’re just dumb old movie fans after all), but I’m still
rather jazzed about Alex Garland’s Annihilation. The
adaptation of the first book in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern
Reach trilogy just dropped a new trailer. Check it out below.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
'The Post' (2017) Movie Review
Steven Spielberg’s The Post doesn’t
surprise anyone. One, it tells a famous, well-known story; two, it’s obvious
from moment one where it’s heading; and three, it’s not trying to pull a
Houdini and execute any startling narrative gymnastics. It also won’t surprise
anyone that The Post is excellent, occasionally thrilling,
and watching Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, and Spielberg together is like watching a
goddamn symphony.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
'Avengers: Infinity War' Trailer: Everybody's Running!
Okay, this isn’t a bad way to wake up, going online to find
out the first Avengers: Infinity War trailer has arrived.
There’s a lot to dig into, but I’ll leave it at that for now. Check it out
below. We can discuss it at our leisure later, but know that I’m here for
Bearded Cap.
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Tuesday, November 28, 2017
'The Disaster Artist' (2017) Movie Review
Autodidactic multi-hyphenate James Franco has directed a
startling number of feature films. Most of them are…okay. He’s shown potential,
but while none of his films are truly terrible, even the best aren’t much more
than middling. Instead of cranking out four or five mediocre literary
adaptations a year, I’ve argued I’d like to see him focus on making one really
good movie. And though his pace doesn’t appear to have waned one iota, with
The Disaster Artist, Franco may have made his first great
film.
Scott Adkins Is An Assassin-Fighting Assassin In 'Accident Man' Trailer
When you think comic book movies, you probably think dudes
in tights and sky portals and that sort of nonsense. But there are also things
like crews of assassins to be found on the funny book pages, which is just what
we get from this Accident Man trailer. To be fair, that’s
not why I’m psyched about this movie. I’m psyched about this because of Scott Adkins. He’s one of the baddest dudes on the planet, this is one of his passion
projects, and he’s not only stars, he co-wrote the script.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Ava DuVernay's 'A Wrinkle In Time' Trailer Is A Thing Of Candy-Colored Beauty
Cinematic adaptations of beloved literary works are a dicey
proposition at best. No matter how good a job filmmakers do, there will forever
be those who decry it as an abomination. I’m normally whatever about these—a good
movie is a good movie, even if it’s based on a book I love and even if it’s
nothing like said book. I’m not hugely invested in Madeleine L’Engle’s
A Wrinkle in Time either way. I read it once as a youngster,
I remember one of my sister’s elementary school classes turning it into a play,
but that’s about it. That said, the trailer for Ava Duverney’s adaptation looks
bonkers and epic and all kinds of rad. Take a look for yourself.
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Friday, November 17, 2017
'Sweet Virginia' (2017) Movie Review
Over the past few years, Taylor Sheridan has won acclaim for
writing gritty crime dramas like Sicario and Hell
or High Water, and his directorial debut, Wind River. Director James M. Dagg, working from a script by the China
Brothers, tries to get in on that act with Sweet Virginia.
His sophomore feature dredges similar aesthetic and thematic territory. While
it succeeds on some fronts, it hits less hard on others, though the finished
product is a serviceable, if unremarkable, mumblecore neo-noir.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
'Rampage' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson And A Giant Gorilla, Wolf, And Crocodile. What More Do You Need?
You know, sometimes I look at a certain movie and I think, “Did
I make that?” Because I’m fairly certain I’m the only one who could possibly
want to see it. And that’s the sensation I get watching the first trailer for
Rampage. It stars Dwayne Johnson and a giant gorilla, a
giant wolf, and a giant crocodile. And based on this first look, it’s already
the greatest video game movie ever made.
Watch A Crap Ton Of New 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Footage
“I’m just so tired of all these Star Wars.” Okay, I’m not,
not at all. Nor did I have the titular line in Star Wars,
which has always chaffed. We’re now less than a month away from Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which I’m rather jazzed for. And just in case we
didn’t already know that, we’re at the point where Lucasfilm is beating us
about the head, neck, and face with promotional material. This includes a bunch
of new TV spots.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
'Justice League' (2017) Movie Review
Justice League is clunky and messy. It’s jumbled
and misshapen. The presence of multiple directors—Zack Snyder did the bulk of
the heavy lifting, though Joss Whedon handled extensive reshoots and rewrites,
and roughly 20% of the finished film belongs to him, according to reports—is readily
apparent in the mishmash of tones and the fact that it watches like multiple
movies shoehorned together. Cringe-worthy choices abound. The fight scenes all
look like they’re lifted from a video game promo. And, of course, since this is
a superhero movie, the plot revolves around an iconic group of comic book
characters searching for CGI boxes powerful enough to destroy the world. But for
all the bumps and bruises and problems, and they are legion, Justice
League is a hell of a lot of fun.
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'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri' (2017) Movie Review
People are complicated creatures. We’re all capable of
cruelty and kindness, anger and compassion. Everyone’s part good, everyone’s
part shit. It’s this internal dichotomy that drives Martin McDonagh’s
pitch-black comedy/drama Three Billboards Outside Ebbing,
Missouri, and it’s why his characters are more complex and authentic than
those we often find on screen. They’re brutally flawed, but devastatingly
human. It doesn’t hurt that the phenomenal cast all give career best
performances, or at least damn close.
Monday, November 13, 2017
Frank Grillo Fights Iko Uwais In This 'Beyond Skyline' Clip
So far, December 15 is shaping up to be the best day of my
calendar year. Not only does Star Wars: The Last Jedi open,
but Amazon drops the first season of Jean-Claude Van Johnson, and the after-the-fact sci-fi sequel Beyond Skyline also hits. And I might be most excited about that last one.
Check out this new clip to see why.
Friday, November 10, 2017
'Hostiles' Trailer: Surprise, A Grim, Gritty Western
Throughout their history, westerns have often been grim,
gritty, and dicey on the racism front. All of which figures prominently into
the trailer for Hostiles, the latest from Black Mass and Out of the Furnace director Scott Cooper.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
'Murder On The Orient Express' (2017) Movie Review
This first paragraph has little to do with the movie we’ll
be discussing today. We’ll get to that, but I have to get something off my
chest first. Multiple times walking out of Kenneth Branagh’s adaptation of
Murder on the Orient Express, which, admittedly, isn’t
great, I overheard people ask, “Have you heard of her before?” Her being AGATHA
FUCKING CHRISTIE. Only the most celebrated mystery writer of all fucking time.
Apologies, I needed to yell about that for a moment. I’m rage hyperventilating just
thinking about it. Onward.
Friday, November 3, 2017
Park Chan-Wook Will Adapt John Le Carre's 'The Little Drummer Girl'
It makes such an insane amount of sense, yet somehow I never
thought about it until right this very moment, but Park Chan-wook adapting a
John le Carre novel sounds like a perfect meeting of the minds. And just to be
clear, that’s what’s happening. The South Korean hit machine signed on to adapt
The Little Drummer Girl in a six-part adaptation. If six
hours of Park Chan-wook doing John le Carre doesn’t sound like the best way to
spend six hours, we probably wouldn’t be friends in real life.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
'Tragedy Girls' (2017) Movie Review
High school was more or less the same for everyone, right?
You had football games, prom, cliques, and, of course, rabid, death-obsessed
teen serial killers stalking the halls. Okay, maybe I’m mixing up Tyler
MacIntyre’s Tragedy Girls with my own experience, I’ll have
to check on that. However it breaks down, this puts a whole new spin on the
mean girls phenomenon. It’s biting, wicked, and deceptively earnest.
Monday, October 30, 2017
'A Prayer Before Dawn' Trailer: Prison, Drugs, And Muay Thai
A real-life story of drug addiction, prison, and Muay Thai.
You bet your ass I’ve been tracking A Prayer Before Dawn
since I first heard about it. There hasn’t been a ton to follow—it debuted at
Cannes back in May, but even though it garnered positive reviews, it didn’t
make a huge splash. But A24—not necessarily the company I expected to drop a
Muay Thai prison movie in my lap—rectified that with this new trailer and it
looks like everything I hoped it would be.
Friday, October 27, 2017
This 'Den Of Thieves' Trailer Looks Like Discount Bin 'Heat'
Why did it take me two full days to watch this Den
of Thieves trailer? It’s everything I like: gritty no-frills action, bank
robbers, a brutally generic name, Gerard Butler, O’Shea Jackson, a dude from The
Wire (Pablo Schreiber), and a rapper (50 Cent). And it’s the guy who
wrote London Has Fallen and A Man Apart
making his directorial debut. And it looks like clearance-sale Heat.
All of which means it’s just my speed. I knew it was out there, I just slept on
it. But don’t worry, I rectified this grievous oversight and all is right with
the world.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
'Suburbicon' (2017) Movie Review
Suburbicon finds frequent Coen Brothers
collaborator George Clooney doing his best impersonation of the filmmaking
siblings. Actually, I hope it’s not his best impersonation or we’ve got
problems. Behind the camera, Clooney so obviously apes his pals that his film
has no personality of its own.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
'The Killing Of A Sacred Deer' (2017) Movie Review
Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos (The
Lobster, Dogtooth) doesn’t make simple,
straightforward movies. He doesn’t offer easy answers, or often even answers at
all. His latest, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, doesn’t
depart from this formula, but like his other films, it’s hypnotic, confrontational,
and lingers long after exiting the theater.
'Bright' Trailer: Will Smith Wants To Die In A Strip Club Gunfight
I have a new favorite movie line. It’s Will Smith yelling, “We’re
gonna titty-bar gunfight die.” And yes, that appears to be an actual line from
Bright, Netflix’s upcoming attempt to get in on the big-budget
fantasy action market. Check out the new trailer below.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
This 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Behind The Scenes Video Is All About Wonder And Awe
I know people worry that now Disney owns Lucasfilm and they’re
churning out an endless parade of Star Wars films, among
other material, they’ll star to lose their magic and become commonplace, like
superhero movies. And I know we’re only a few movies deep into the global
takeover, but hot damn, we haven’t reached Star Wars fatigue
yet. And as of right now, I continue to get chills every single time I watch
new Star Wars footage, including this new behind-the-scenes
video from Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
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Thursday, October 19, 2017
'The Florida Project' (2017) Movie Review
Tangerine director Sean Baker’s follow
up, The Florida Project, takes a different track than its
predecessor. Last time out, he shot on an iPhone and followed transgender
prostitutes on Christmas Eve in Los Angeles. For his next trick, Baker and
company shot on real 35mm film and the story revolves around a precocious
six-year-old girl on summer break.
'Jean-Claude Van Johnson' Trailer: Jean-Claude Van Damme Used To Be Super Famous
December 15 is shaping up to be one hell of a day.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi opens, Beyond Skyline opens, and now Amazon is going to drop Jean-Claude Van Johnson, the meta action-comedy series that imagines Jean-ClaudeVan Damme’s entire acting career as a cover for his true calling, international
assassin. To celebrate, there’s a new trailer. Yeah, the pilot’s great, this
trailer’s great, I have high hopes.
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
Frank Grillo Is Playing A Character Named Chainsaw Angus In 'Donnybrook'
You may or may not know this, but at this point, I’ll watch
anything with Frank Grillo. And that goes double for any movie about backwoods
bareknuckle fighting where he plays someone named Chainsaw Angus. Which is the name
of his character in the upcoming Donnybrook.
Monday, October 16, 2017
New 'Black Panther' Trailer Unveils Wakanda And A Whole Lot Of Action
Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! I get it, that’s a lot of
dudes, but I need your attention. And as it’s first thing Monday morning, if
you’re anything like me, you’re dragging. But I’ve got something that should
pick you right up, and it’s a fresh new Black Panther
trailer to kick off the week. There’s also a dope new poster to gawk at.
Friday, October 13, 2017
'The New Mutants' Trailer Is More Horror Than Superhero
I’m not fully on board with those who argue we’re hitting a
point of superhero fatigue. In general, I enjoy them and look forward to the
next chapter. Just over the next two weeks we get Thor: Ragnarok and Justice League, though I’m more
concerned (or at least I have more questions) about the latter than the former.
Still, it’s hard to get too excited when there’s yet another
superhero joint. Especially The New Mutants, mostly because I’m
admittedly not hugely familiar with the title (though I love creator Chris Claremont), and the last Fox
X-Men movie was so lackluster. But the first trailer is
here, and I’m definitely changing my tune.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
'The Foreigner' (2017) Movie Review
As they age, plenty of actors are trying their hand at
playing grizzled badasses in revenge-based action movies. The results have been
up and down to say the least. Liam Neeson has proven the most successful of
these—though I’m not a fan of the Taken movies, the likes of
Run All Night deliver the goods. But now it’s time for
Jackie Chan to get in on the act with The Foreigner, so
everyone else, step away and give the man room to work.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
'Beyond Skyline' Has A New Trailer And Release Date
It feels like 75% of what I’ve written about recently involves
Beyond Skyline, and that’s fine with me. Not a fan of the
2010 alien invasion yarn, Skyline, the after-the-fact sequel
looks completely badass. And that includes this new U.S. trailer. Perhaps even
more exciting than that, is there’s now a confirmed release date on American
soil, which is a pretty sweet indeed.
Watch The 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Trailer, It Has Lightsabers And Porgs!
By now you’ve probably watched the new Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer, whether Rian Johnson wants you to or not,
ordered your opening day tickets, and plowed head first into the Great Porg
Debate of 2017. (Love them or hate them, they’re the new Ewoks, and your stance
on the adorable little bastards will define who you are for generations to
come.) But what the hell, why not watch the trailer again?
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Monday, October 9, 2017
'Wheelman' Trailer: Frank Grillo Is Even Badass Driving A Car For Netflix
No one currently working does grim, stoic, throwback tough guy
quite like Frank Grillo. And his talents look to be put to good use in the trailer
for the upcoming Wheelman. Check it out after the jump.
Friday, October 6, 2017
'Pacific Rim: Uprising' Trailer: More Giant Monsters, Massive Mechs, And Loud Noises
Guillermo del Toro’s 2013 Pacific Rim
splits viewers into two categories: those who love it and those who think it’s
dumb as shit. Personally, I think it’s dumb as shit, but I absolutely adore
watching del Toro do his best impression of a kid in a sandbox banging robot
toys into monster toys. That’s precisely what it is, and the finished product
is precisely that much fun. I don’t know that it needs a sequel, or that one
will be any good, but it managed to (just barely and thanks to the global
market) squeak out enough money to justify a follow up. Good or bad, I’m going
to watch it and the first real trailer for Pacific Rim:
Uprising is here. Check it out below.
Friday, September 29, 2017
This 'Re: Born' Trailer Is The Most Badass Thing You'll Watch Today
It’s understandable to be skeptical of movies billed as “The
New Movie X!” or “The Movie X from Blank!”
By and large, those comparisons to movies you love don’t measure up. But while
I haven’t seen Yuji Shimomura’s Re: Born, from the look of
this U.K. trailer, the “Japanese John Wick” hype may well be
warranted.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
'Beyond Skyline' Trailer: Frank Grillo, Iko Uwais, Yayan Ruhian, Aliens, What Else Do You Need?
If you know one thing about me these days, it should be that
I’m really, really, really psyched for Beyond Skyline. Like,
it’s all I care about anymore. Admittedly, I’m not a huge fan of 2010’s
Skyline, but this long-after-the-fact sequel continues to
look completely fucking rad. Just watch this new U.K. trailer if you don’t’
believe me.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
'American Made' (2017) Movie Review
After watching American Made, I’m
convinced Tom Cruise needs to work with Doug Liman way more often. Which isn’t
much of a reach, as the actor/director combo has the sci-fi adventure
Luna Park on the slate in the near future. But between this
and Edge of Tomorrow, or whatever title you prefer, Cruise—who
I maintain is the last great traditional movie star we have left—hasn’t been this
good in years.
'Annihilation' Trailer: Alex Garland's Sci-Fi Film Looks Beautiful And Creepy
After directing Ex Machina (and writing
Dredd and 28 Days Later…), I’m down to
watch anything Alex Garland does. So, understandably, I’m rather jacked for his
upcoming adaptation of Jeff VanderMeer’s best-selling novel,
Annihilation. I haven’t read the book, but I love that
Garland’s sticking around the sci-fi end of the pool, and the first teaser
trailer looks very much like a movie I want to watch.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Animated 'Blade Runner: 2049' Prequel Is Gorgeous And Violent
Okay, here’s your last homework assignment for Denis Villeneuve’s
Blade Runner 2049, at least beyond, you know, rewatching
your preferred version of Ridley Scott’s 1982 sci-fi classic. Early reviews are
just hitting the airwaves and are overwhelmingly positive—not to make it harder
to keep expectations in check or anything. But most of us still have a while to
wait, but take a few minutes to gawk at the third and final prequel short.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
'Friend Request' (2016) Movie Review
The most important lesson gleaned from Friend
Request: Beware the Facebook witches, because they are a real thing
and they’re coming for you and your friends! Apparently. And while I won’t go
so far as to heap praise on German director Simon Verhoeven’s 2016 (it took a
while to make it to U.S. shores) horror film for being particularly original,
or even all that memorable, it’s solid genre fun. At times. In fact, it has the
makings of an awesome junior high sleepover movie.
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