'The Toxic Avenger' (2023) Movie Review

So often when filmmakers attempt to remake a beloved niche genre film or a cult classic, you wind up with a product that may, on the surface, resemble the earlier version, but that misses the point completely. Or one that doesn’t seem to grasp what people love about the original. Writer/director Macon Blair’s (Green Room) new incarnation of Troma Entertainment favorite The Toxic Avenger is not one of those movies. 

'Machete Kills' Movie Review

“Machete Kills” is a lot like watching a spoof movie, and not a good one like “Airplane!” or “The Naked Gun.” We’re talking “Epic Movie” or “Meet the Spartans” here. I won't lie, there are some chuckles, but what the sequel to Robert Rodriguez’s 2010 “Machete” does is take all of the things that make the original a ton of fun, and blows them up into an oversized cartoon. Instead of an homage to gritty, sleazy exploitation films of yesteryear, “Machete Kills” takes on the madman taking over the world sub genre favored by middle-era James Bond films, mixes that with an excess of “Star Wars” jokes, and concocts a bland caricature.

Check Out The Red Band Trailer For 'V/H/S 2'

Admittedly, last year's much ballyhooed horror anthology "V/H/S" was a disappointment.  Individual pieces were okay, but taken as a whole, it's an underwhelming experience. With that in mind, expectations for the upcoming sequel have been kept in check, even though it involves the likes of Jason Eisener, director of "Hobo With a Shotgun," and Gareth Evans, who helmed "The Raid: Redemption." Still, even with ample skepticism, this latest red band trailer for "V/H/S 2" is impressive. 

'Evil Dead' Movie Review

When we learned that there was going to be an “Evil Dead” remake, or reboot, or whatever it’s supposed to be, most of us groaned and chalked it up to another unnecessary rehash of a beloved movie from our past. While I still don’t see the need for the new “Evil Dead,” over the intervening months the production has done something none of us thought possible, they made their movie look really, really good. That was unexpected. Whether or not “Evil Dead” lives up to this newfound potential is another thing.

'Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters' Movie Review

Here are the things I learned from “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”. Good witches are pretty, nice, and will have sex with you in a magical pond. Bad witches look like they’re into black metal, dress poorly, and give you diabetes. So, if nothing else, you’ll walk away with a couple of important life lessons under your belt. Those are the most important things to know about “Hansel & Gretel”, and as you’ve probably gathered, it’s utterly ridiculous. It’s also way more fun than an oft-delayed pseudo-horror film buried in the end of January has any right to be.

DVD Review: 'Screaming In High Heels: The Rise And Fall Of The Scream Queen Era'

One of the most iconic images in the horror genre is a beautiful woman, sometimes covered in blood, often topless, screaming in terror. These actresses became widely known as “scream queens”, and hold a special place in hearts of fanatics. By and large they began their careers as eye candy that existed on the periphery to add a little T&A, and to get killed off eventually. Over time, as they developed their own cult followings, these women became stars in their own right, carrying the films they appeared in rather than serving as window dressing. “Screaming in High Heels: the Rise and Fall of the Scream Queen Era”, a new documentary now on DVD, takes an in depth look at this strange and specific slice of popular culture.

SIFF Review: 'Game of Werewolves'

 

Mixing horror and comedy is a tricky proposition. Leaning too heavily on one element over the other can lead to an imbalance, and too many attempts to synthesize the two genres result in movies that are neither scary nor funny. That’s what makes Juan Martinez Moreno’s “Game of Werewolves” (AKA “Wolves of Arga”) such a treat; it seamlessly blends legitimate laughs with earnest frights and gore.

'Cabin in the Woods' Movie Review

I’ll keep this nice and quick. GO SEE “CABIN IN THE WOODS” OR YOU WILL REGRET IT. There.

Here’s something a bit more in depth if you’re so inclined:

MIFFF Review: 'Midnight Son'

Almost immediately director Scott Leberecht’s new horror film “Midnight Son” calls to mind George Romero’s 1976 movie “Martin”. Both are ostensibly vampire movies, but vampire movies that tweak the formula and refuse to follow conventions. Gone are the gothic, overdramatic affectations that have permeated the genre for years, and let’s put it this way, this vampire certainly doesn’t sparkle or glint like a diamond in the sun.

DVD Review: 'Spartacus: Gods of the Arena'

It feels strange to write a review of “Spartacus: Gods of the Arena” right now, just a short few days after the untimely passing of actor Andy Whitfield, who played the titular gladiator in “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”, the series that preceded “Gods of the Arena”. Despite the absence of Spartacus, and Whitfield, in “Gods of the Arena”, he looms in the background, largely because if not for Whitfield’s well-publicized battle with non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, the six-episode mini-series likely wouldn’t have happened. When Whitfield was originally diagnosed he stepped down from the show, a huge hit for the Starz network. While producers of the show frantically searched for a new leading man, eventually selecting Liam McIntyre, the idea for “Gods of the Arena” first came about. It will be curious how the series carries on without Whitfield. The more I watched “Blood and Sand”, the more he carried the bulk of the workload, and he will be missed.

'The Yellow Sea' Movie Review

After his debut film, 2008’s “The Chaser”, Korean director Na Hong-jin was definitely on a lot of people’s radars, mine included, and many of us have eagerly been waiting for his newest crime thriller, “The Yellow Sea”. Fresh from Cannes, “The Yellow Sea” just made its North American premiere at the Seattle International Film Festival. Be warned, there is an absurd amount of hatchet fighting and stabbing, not to mention people getting beaten to death with a large bone. If that sounds like a good time to you, it certainly does to me, then this movie is right up your alley.

'Red Eagle' Movie Review

If movies like “RoboCop” are to be believed, the near future is going to be a festering cesspool of violence and corruption. It must be true, because no matter what era “near future” we’re talking about, the prediction is roughly the same. So, you should probably be on the look out in the next few years and be prepared. Thai director Wisit Sasanatieng’s (“Tears of the Black Tiger”) new superhero film, “Red Eagle”, a remake/homage to a 1960s action series, holds to this bleak vision. When the world is going to hell, and in desperate need of a savior, up steps Red Eagle.

'The Walking Dead Season One' DVD Review

The Show:

Robert Kirkman's “The Walking Dead” is one of the best monthly comics in recent memory. Though it may be about zombies on the surface, like the best of the genre, the heart of the story is the human element. Kirkman uses the plague of the undead to heighten and intensify the emotions and personalities of his characters. When faced with the destruction of everything you know, you find out who people really are, and what is really important. Frank Darabont’s adaptation of “The Walking Dead” for AMC shares this outlook, was an enormous popular and critical success, and Season One has just hit DVD/Blu-ray.

'The Eagle' Movie Review

I frequently rant about how studios ruin otherwise promising action films by suppressing violence in order to garner a PG-13 rating and thus achieve a wider audience. A truly kickass movie will kickass despite a noticeable lack of blood and swearing, just look at “Live Free or Die Hard” (though we all know that would have been ever better with a little splatter and if John McLane’s signature “Yippie-ki-yay, mother fucker” hadn’t been concealed by background noise), but a movie like “The Eagle”, suffers irreparable damage in its quest for PG-13. This is the kind of movie that needs the freedom and wiggle room provided by an R rating. “The Eagle” would never have been a great movie, that’s a fact, but if the action had been handled appropriately, it could at least have been fun to watch. Instead, the action and violence are toothless. You can feel where the filmmakers reigned themselves in and pulled back, and the result is that “The Eagle” feels castrated. In trying to make a movie for everyone, they made a movie for no one.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

As an actor, what do you say when your agent tells you that you’re up for a part, but that the part involves your face being attached to another actor’s ass for most of the movie? That probably doesn’t come up often, but it must have when writer/director Tom Six was casting his horror film “The Human Centipede (First Sequence)”.

Resident Evil: Afterlife

I finally got around to seeing “Resident Evil: Afterlife” the other day, but to be quite honest, it’s taken me a while to write about it because I kind of forgot about it. It wasn’t very good. Not that the other installments in the series were mind-blowing or anything, but this new chapter is the weakest, even though it is by far the most popular and most three-dimensional to date. The whole thing is pretty forgettable.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

So much screaming and stabbing. That is the basic premise behind the first season of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”. The parts that involve neither stabbing nor screaming are built around naked breasts, beheadings, eruptions of blood, and intrigue.

Machete

I’m on a pretty good roll lately as far as movies being exactly what I want them to be. “The Expendables” was a solid attempt to recreate a 1980s style action flick driven by a big name, or many big names in this particular case. “Piranha 3D” was completely over the top fun, full of tens of thousands of gallons of fake blood, and equally fake naked breasts. Both did exactly what I wanted them to do, and I enjoyed them thoroughly. Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete” fits nicely alongside those two films.

Piranha 3D

Holy fucking shit. Let me say that again, slower this time. Holy. Fucking. Shit. “Piranha 3D” is my new favorite movie of 2010.

Ninja Assassin

Hollywood is cyclical. This is common knowledge, so you knew ninja movies were going to come around again, it was only a matter of waiting, biding your time. The highest profile film of this new wave is James McTeigue’s energetic “Ninja Assassin”, produced by the Wachowski siblings.